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Arsenal Questions to Ponder: Champions League Match Preview

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Do ghosts exist? What would it be like if Earth had no gravity? How hot was Daryl Hannah as a mermaid? Does Arsene Wenger know how to manage a team?


Bayern Munich v. Arsenal, Chmapions League
Kickoff: Wednesday, March 13, 3:45pm EDT
Allianz Arena, Munich, Bavaria, Germany
TV: Fox Soccer Channel
SBNation Bayern Munich Blog: Bavarian Football Works

Tomorrow is the day we begin to officially focus on the league for the rest of the season we go into Bavaria and shock the world! Yeah, something like that.

Obviously no one on the squad decided to watch the scene from "Animal House" that I linked in the preview of the first leg of the draw, otherwise we wouldn't be sitting here wondering exactly how bad it's going to be. Of course, it helps to have such gifted and amazing players like Jack Wilshere in the squad. Truly, without him, I wouldn't dare wager a guess on how bad it could be tomor--

What's that? He's hurt and missing the match and the rest of this month, at minimum? Well f*ck me, then. Onto the questions:

Question #1: "Does having Kieran Gibbs back help contain Dribbles McDutchman, thus centralizing Bayern's attack?

With all the news surrounding the ankle injury to Jack Wilshere, we should all somewhat-relieved that the inclusion of Gibbs in the squad tomorrow means a back line that doesn't have Thomas Vermaelen at left back. With Franck Ribery out for tomorrow's clash (sidenote: I always laugh at the word "clash" when used to describe a big match; whenever I see that word used, I picture in my head two teams facing off in a headbutting competition. Anyway, carry on...), Arjen Robben will be called upon to replace him in the starting XI. Which means lots of aggressive dribbles and few passes from the right side of their attack. Hopefully Gibbs is fit enough to keep up with the Dutch international; if successful, then Munich will have to resort to scoring their goals from the center or left side of the pitch.

Question #2: "Why are you so down on the squad's chances to limit goals tomorrow?"

Oh, so Jack Wilshere gets hurt and that's all anyone seems to focus on, I see. Well let me shine light on more spectacular news: Bacary Sagna is out tomorrow, along with Lukas Podolski, who will not making a return back to his own personal house of horrors. Further? As noted in the official club statement, Wojciech Szczesny (Wally Bananas) is being "rested" (dropped is the term everyone else uses) with Lukasz Fabianski taking the spot between the posts, Abou Diaby is healthy psyche trolololol not healthy and a match time decision and I will be a dinnertime decision tomorrow night, depending on how much booze I can sneak into my desk at work tomorrow afternoon.

Question #3: "Is there any hope, whatsoever, for our beloved club tomorrow?"

Sure, as long as the match is played there's a chance for anything to happen. Like an alien attack that is thwarted by Godzilla, who ends up backhanding every extraterrestrial life being in the face and saving the world from the third kind. There's also a chance that Arsenal pull off the miracle win due to Munich's own squad issues. Slim, but as I just pointed out, there's a chance for anything to happen because Bastian Schweinsteiger and Jerome Boateng are suspended, and, as mentioned earlier, Franck Ribery is out as well. Of course, Munich have depth for days and can rely on such talents and Selfish McNopass and Swiss wonderkid Xherdan Shaqiri to step in with relative ease. If we're going to hold out hope that our depleted bunch can do the almost-impossible, one of the biggest reasons must be that Munich will be missing a few of their heavily-relied on players as well.

Question #4: "Anything else leading up to the match that I should be concerned about?"

Lukas Podolski's off to either Juventus or Atletico Madrid, if the Fail are to be believed.