Andre Santos given driving ban, no jail time for reckless driving

As you may recall, Andre Santos drives fast. A little too fast, perhaps, as he was arrested in mid-August for driving up to 145mph on a crowded motorway and failing to stop for police. Today in a hearing he pleaded guilty to charges of "driving without due care and attention" and was handed a one-year ban on driving, as well as a £3,600 fine. He will not face jail time, so his availability for Arsenal should not be in question.

Santos said that he was speeding because he was late to practice, and we've all been there, haven't we? "My music was on loud and I was not paying attention," he said. "I apologise to the police and for the trouble I've caused."

Since the Brazilian won't be driving until next fall, he's going to have to figure out a new way to get to training and games, so I've come up with a few transportation ideas for him. Hopefully these will get him to Colney safely and on time.

• Take the bus. This is a great way to save money and the environment, and also to meet fans. Maybe he could even do an advertisement for London's bus system and snag an extra endorsement check.
• Get a ride from a teammate. This is what I did before I got a drivers license. The older runners on the cross country team would drive the younger kids all over the place, and then when we were old enough, we repaid the favor. Maybe ask Mikel Arteta or Thomas Vermaelen to pick him up on the way to training, or he can hitch a ride with Andrei Arshavin on his Segway that he undoubtedly rides everywhere.
• Bicycle! This would help build stamina and leg strength, and set a good example to our too-sedentary youths.
• Skateboard. The same, but 35% cooler. Cowabunga, dude!
• Wear a false mustache; drive anyway. The only problem is that thanks to Arsenal Gentleman, we already know what this would look like, so police would probably spot him. A poor idea, but for a maverick like Santos anything's on the table.

One way or the other, thank goodness he didn't end up in jail. Last year's Fullback Crisis was pretty weird, but that would be something on the Simpsons' level.