Alex Song Agreed Terms With Barcelona? Yeah, No.

According to Duncan Castles, Alex Song has agreed personal terms with Barcelona prior to Barcelona offering their usual suspiciously low bid to annoy everyone at Arsenal, before having more of their players (but not Cesc Fabregas) talk about Alex Song's "Barca DNA" and display the typical, annoying behaviour that the Barcelona hobbits have when it comes to transfers. However, there's two problems with this: 1. Alex Song is under contract until 2015 and Arsenal have no reason to sell unless Barcelona offer us Cesc Fabregas and the remaining money they owe us for Cesc Fabregas (£12.7m, or One Santi Cazorla) for Song, and, the journalist reporting this deal is Duncan "Professional Troll" Castles.

Castles, of course, reported that Robin van Persie had agreed personal terms with Manchester City in March. Van Persie, of course, is still here, and is rumoured to be a target of Manchester United, not City, a club that he reportedly rejected. Castles also reported that Arsenal were favourites to sign Jan Vertonghen, who is, of course, now a member of Tottenham Hotspur. Castles reported that Santi Cazorla was going to stay at Malaga. Castles is a professional [redacted]-stirrer, who's more inaccurate than Marouane Chamakh in front of goal.

So, Alex Song isn't going to Barcelona. Unless, of course, they actually offer us something extraordinary. But they won't, because they're Barcelona, they're in tonnes of debt, and they don't operate in that way, preferring to be like annoying fleas who never, ever go away, and then act like pouting children who haven't got ice cream as a "reward" for acting like whinging babies.

In conclusion, file this under the "rubbish" section.