LU LU LU LUKAS PODOLSKI news/links: a new signing, like a new signing, a past trial signing

Man, stuff got really crazy last night, didn't it? I don't know what happened, we were having fun, then all of the sudden everyone went nuts and now I have a splitting headache and I had a dream that Arsenal went out and signed a player before the transfer deadline even started. If that's not the weirdest dream I've ever had, I don't know what is.

Wait, what? You're kidding.

Despite my/our efforts to dismiss it as rumor, it appears that Lukas Podolski actually has signed for Arsenal, with the only remaining stumbling blocks being a physical examination and the fact that it's not actually a transfer window right now. Basically every bastion of journalism with even a tinge of respectability* (BBC, the Guardian, the Metro, and ESPN among others) is now reporting what Bild broke yesterday - £10.9m fee, four-year, £100k a week contract, and Per Mertesacker as the agent (just kidding about the last one).

*Disclaimer: some may be more respectable than others.

So there are now two options. The first is that this is all happening, and Lukas Podolski will be playing for Arsenal next year. I've been burned too many times at this point to fully believe this even with an array of reports in front of me, and probably will remain skeptical until such time as he's handed an Arsenal shirt by Arsene Wenger in front of cameras. The second option, as I said yesterday, is that this is all bollocks. Unlike yesterday, though, if the second option turns out to be true, there are going to be a lot of newspapers (etc.) with egg on their faces. Which is why the official The Short Fuse stance remains cautious skepticism until the press conference in June. If there is one.

From an actual signing to a LANS, Tomas Rosicky! The plaudits for Little Mozart (best nickname EVER) continue as Amy Lawrence briefly chronicles his return to not-being-injured-and-crap. It's a good read, and a good story - long may the return of the Czech wonder continue. He might even score again, who knows?

As I mentioned yesterday, Tim of 7amkickoff got to go to the Milan game, and today he's put up a photoblog of his exploits on gameday. He is ridiculously close to the pitch, and I hate him for that. There's even a picture of Laurent Koscielny, for those of you who haven't gotten their weekly fill of partially nude Arsenal defenders yet.

Finally, here's Brek Shea saying that training with Arsenal (and watching Robin van Persie train and play) was massively beneficial to him as a player. [INSERT LAZY JOKE ABOUT HIS HAIRCUT HERE] I'd just like it if Shea would show a little better form for his country, but whatever.

Apropos of nothing: Alex Morgan scored a hat trick for the US the other day as they ripped Sweden apart in the Algarve Cup. She's pretty good. I refuse to acknowledge her club performances this year, though. Of all the teams...ugh.