Arsenal Man of the Match: Theo Walcott

Trying to pick the Mikel Arteta Man of the Match* out of Tuesday's rubble is a bit like trying to find gold nuggets in a really big pile of dog poo, cool agates, four-leaf clovers, used condoms, and diamonds**. It's not easy. However, there is one player that was on the pitch for the whole 128 minutes and basically did work: Theodore Walcott. Three goals and three assists, including the game-winner and the goal that kept Arsenal alive in regulation? Running around fluidly in attack, and always being in the right place around the net? Yessiree Bob, Theo is your Mikel Arteta Man of the Match for the Wages of Fear Cup***!

Other candidates were discussed, friends, oh yes, they were. Andrei Arshavin passed the ever-living leather out of the football, including the kind of through balls that Arsenal require in more sticky situations. He was on the list. Hell, Marouane "Smokey Top" Chamakh was on the list, as he scored for the first time since some vague time last year. But one can't really argue with three goals and three assists. It's pretty good.

Congratulations, Theodore Walcott! Your root beer is in the mail!

* It's named after Mikel Arteta not because he is no longer alive, but because he always wins it, even if he doesn't play, because he's just that good.

** It's a confusing pile, isn't it? Some good, some bad--you never know what you're going to get! Around and around she goes, and where she stops, nobody knows! That's Arsenal! A pile of diamonds and used condoms!

*** Go watch Wages of Fear. It's an extraordinary film, possibly one of the best ever ever ever made. Lots of explodo and tension!