The January transfer window is almost closed. The apple pie of transfers in the window-sill is almost cool enough to bring back in the house and prepare for the delicious lunch that is the rest of the reason. Most of you will raise your eyebrows like Carlo Ancelotti, clear your throat and say "but sir, Arsenal have signed no one this January, lunch then is a foreign concept to u since the cook insists that the Ozil we had for breakfast should hold us till tomorrow."
I will say to those people: first, you're walking the thin line of metaphor and cannibalism, second, you are right. The professor of Culinary Arts, Arsene Wenger, seems to be too busy making comments about the dishes of other cooks than cooking up anything this January. This however does not mean that he is not looking for good ingredients, or that those ingredients do not exist, as we all know, a great chef does not reveal his secret recipes.
It seems only a matter of time before Arsenal actually purchase one of the many mouth watering options that we have been linked to, though time strains on forever when you watch other fans patting their bellies from transfers that probably won't mata. Which option would be best though? As starving fans, we are often relegated to mere speculation on what goes on in the kitchen. Will we be served the sweet, euphoric meal of Julian Draxler? It would seem to be much too costly for our budgets and history has shown Arsene's reluctance against sugary foods.
Maybe the chef will believe that we need to try something new, and serve us a Ntep which we will all be hesitant about at the beginning but most likely, we will grow to like it. Maybe he will see that we are starved of striker goals, nod his head in acknowledgment and deliver us a full course meal of tasty finishes in the form of a Brazilian/Spanish entree named Diego Costa. Or just maybe, he will say that we should be appreciative of the food already on the menu and serve us a Yaya Sanogo or a Nicklas Bendtner like a new meal.
All of these options are viable, but there are problems with each. Julian Draxler is far too young and will be inexperienced as we push for the title. Ntep is an unknown commodity, Diego Costa, too expensive. Yaya Sanogo, too young, as well as from what we have seen, has a far way to go before we start giving compliments to the chef. Nicklas, is well, Nicklas. I think we've had that "greatest meal in the world" to know that the taste is anything but.
"So then who?" You will ask me, pleading with your bony arms, hunger pangs inflicting you, driving you to tears. "Who shall we buy? Which one will deliver us from our empty-stomached fate and deliver us to the land of the excess?" My friends, I have to admit that I do not know. Many nights I have spent by my laptop, starving and shaking, with my brain working tirelessly on the many options left to us and yet I do not know which one would be most affordable but at the same time, appease our appetite.
SOMETHING, EVEN SOME CHIPS
THAT COULD COMPLIMENT OUR MAIN COURSE
Sadly, I don't know where we find such a player, nor some of those elusive, fattening chips with some sort of ridiculous buy-back clause that we should exploit. So we will wait, and see what The Professor will cook up, and see if at the end of the transfer window, if the best meals are truly saved for last. If not, then we will starve and wait for Lukas Podolski's beefy left leg to deliver us from our pain.