Jose Mourinho welcomes Cesc Fabregas to Chelsea

David Ramos

In a very Jose Mourinho-like fashion

5399d2709ceba_medium RING RING RING

5399d2ab52da2_medium ♫ ♪ You're talking to Cesc, baby! You're talking about - ♫ ♪

5399d30342e51_medium Oh please do shut the hell up.  Look, I'm going to make this very quick.

5399d2ab52da2_medium Uh-huh.

5399d30342e51_medium I don’t like you. I don’t like your hair, I don’t like your tattoos, I don’t like your face, and I hate both of your last clubs.

5399d30342e51_medium I believe you’re a shit player, you’re a quitter who runs to higher ground the first time someone ever-so-slightly spreads their legs for you and, on top of it, you lack any sort of leadership a club who wants to achieve the glory that Barcelona and Chelsea are looking to obtain.  What few Arsenal fans you'll have left after this may still love you, but I don't.

5399d2ab52da2_medium Go on.

5399d30342e51_medium And because of that, if I had any say in this decision I would be instead calling you up to tell you how quickly I hung up on Darren Dein when that weasel called us a couple weeks ago whoring out your services for an inflated fee, but.

5399d2ab52da2_medium But?

5399d30342e51_medium I got overruled.  And this isn't the first time this has happened to me here.  You remember how that turned out, right?

5399d2ab52da2_medium ...

5399d30342e51_medium So listen closely, Cesc.  You may have an alley upstairs, but you're not here to help me win anything.  You're a glory signing - nothing more, nothing less.  You don't fit in my tactics and plans, and I will bench you much like your "boyhood club" did.

5399d30342e51_medium I have nothing else to say to you.

5399d2709ceba_medium /click

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