Wenger: Suarez Transfer "On Standby"

Brendan Rogers' long pursuit and signing of Jimmy Melbourne turned out to be an elaborate hoax. - Scott Barbour

Arsene Wenger all but admits the ball's not in his court any more as far as Suarez goes.

In our continuing efforts to rebrand ourselves as The Suarez Fuze, we bring you the latest musings from Arsene Wenger. When asked about l'affaire Suarez, he said:

"It is nothing to do with us. We have been told that the player wants to leave Liverpool and that is why we have acted. I really don't know what will be decided by Liverpool."

So there, in a nutshell, we have it. Two-thirds of the parties want this deal to happen, but hey, whatever, it's cool - Brendan Rogers just got a phone, and he's not scheduled for phone training until they can find someone who can train exclusively in pictograms.

There's an element of time pressure to the deal, too - as mentioned in the article, Arsenal would love to see this wrapped up so Suarez can play in the two Champions League qualifiers, for which Arsenal will find out their opponent on Friday. For this to happen, a signing would have to be complete by Monday. I'm not so worried about that as I am about getting the deal done before the window closes, personally - I believe Arsenal have the quality to get through a qualifier at this point.

If they can get Suarez signed before Monday, great, but I don't necessarily see that happening; I just know there's one party to this deal that needs to realize their player is gone, and let him go. And let us all get on with our lives.

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