Oh, hey, Nicklas Bendtner's deal fell through due to his wage demands

Mike Hewitt

Yesterday, we knew that Frankfurt bypassed Bendtner in favor of Vaclav Kadlec, but now we know that was done only after they saw what he wanted for compensation

518bcd4e055ee_medium ♪♫ I GOT A BIG EGO I'M SUCH A BIG EGO I GOT A BIG EGO SHE LOVE MY BIG EGO ♪♫

51dd698c8c5f5_medium Last name Ever, first name Greatest / Sir Nik is on the line, update me with the latest!

51dd6a5f9313f_medium Frankfurt's a go; fees between the clubs are agreed and we just need your approval.

51dd698c8c5f5_medium For real? Do work! That's why I pay you that enormous commission fee, Jay Hova!

51dd6c77be27c_medium Carl, Nicklas. Carl. I'm Carl. C-A-R-L spells Carl. Not car. Not Jay-Z. Not Cuba Gooding, Jr. Carl.

51dd698c8c5f5_medium D'okay, Chad.

51dd698c8c5f5_medium So I took some time out from punching the stop signs in my neighborhood to come with my wage demands. I had to relent on a few things, but overall I think it's fair. I'll fax them over --

51dd6c77be27c_medium -- That won't be necessary; your dad emailed them over this morning. He said you were still sleeping off last night's sake and --

51dd698c8c5f5_medium -- to you right now. Hold on a second.

51dd698c8c5f5_medium OK. I'm sending them.

51dec0e3b3815_medium

51dd698c8c5f5_medium Sent.

51dd6c77be27c_medium Like I said, I have a copy, but anyway. I have a few concerns, and I think we need to talk about them and whether or not I'm going to survive this summer with you.

51dd698c8c5f5_medium Make it quick, I'm late for being sexy today.

51dd6c77be27c_medium Yes, right. Well let's look at the demands together.

51deca381ea9f_medium

51dd698c8c5f5_medium You can see that's pretty reasonable; I left off a few demands. Like, for instance, my desire to own a unicorn.

51dd6c77be27c_medium (eyes roll back in own head so hard he concusses himself)

51dd6c77be27c_medium You know what? I'll go and add a unicorn to the list. Screw it, why not? Because it's just as realistic as your demand to own a dog who speaks Barklish, or a fictitious magic wand.

51dd6c77be27c_medium You're above reproach, in your mind, to every set back in your stalled career. My brain slowly seeps out of my ears every time I'm cursed with calling you.

51dd6c77be27c_medium You are not a player who should demand any salary, let alone one that 99% of clubs can't afford. You're not a Champions League player, you're not a superstar.

51dd6c77be27c_medium You are Nicklas Bendtner: Failure of Expectations and only due to your self-delusion are you in this situation.

51dd698c8c5f5_medium So...do you want me to send them the fax of those demands, or will you?

51dd6c77be27c_medium Have you figured out which one is the fax machine, and which one's the paper shredder?

51dd698c8c5f5_medium Uh, yeah!

51dd6c77be27c_medium Whatever. You send it. And you let me know what they say. Besides any chuckling, of course.

51dd698c8c5f5_medium Deal. OK, I'm sending them.

51dec0e3b3815_medium

51dd698c8c5f5_medium Sent.

51dece02468e5_medium

51dd6c77be27c_medium Same. Bye; hopefully for good.

51dd698c8c5f5_medium Later, Cosby.

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