How shall we settle the arguments about Arsene Wenger?

Alexander Hassenstein

Herein is one proposal. Someone call up Mean Gene.

It's almost the end of the season again, and through the few highs and numerous lows of that have marked Arsenal this year, the fans' internal bickering has remained the only constant in yet another disappointing season. The "Arsene Knows Best" coalition (AKB) and the WengerOut brigade have turned fandom into a black and white issue, a partisan-type effort outdoing congress in the constant bickering and dead-end arguments. Every single day, whether during an International lull or transfer window, whether a match day or a cup exit, there are heated arguments on social media between the fans on the direction of the club. The AKB suggests that a manager who has brought Arsenal this far still knows what he is doing and should be trusted, while the counter-group, the WengerOut brigade, suggests that the old wily manager has lost it and it's time to thank him for his services and move on. So before we all are forced to block our fellow fans and friends, my suggestion is we simply spend over three hours beating the living hell out of each other in a Royal Rumble style fight.

We've tried every other way; I'm saying that maybe it's time we give this a chance, get the anger out so we can all move on.

I'm sure that we can all agree, no matter how divided the fan base, that the constant division is tiring -- so what better way to settle it than to run down a ramp into a ring of other fans and proceed to bludgeon them till only one man is standing? I mean, sure, if you want to "reasonable", you could argue that both sets of fans should acknowledge that difference in opinion doesn't make one less of a fan or delusional and should actually be embraced but you would be dead wrong. Wrong, and likely the first one tossed out of the ring (there's a ring by the way).

Think of the incredible possibilities in the fight: Piers Morgan could enter after Ian Wright is tossed out, racing down to the ring with a steel chair littered with stickers reading "We want our Arsenal back!" or Frimpong descending down from the rafters in a Dench T-shirt and an Arsene face mask before eliminating a surprised 20 year-old girl with a vicious two footed tackle.

The fight is only hindered by your creativity. Bin bags will be provided by unpaid interns.

Some of you might be worried about the rules, but rest assured I have that covered. It will start out with two initial fighters, one AKB and the other WengerOut. Once one competitor is eliminated or 2 minutes have passed since the last entry, another fighter will be prompted to make his or her into the way ring. Also, the fighters will not know each other's affiliation, so that if a few fighters of the same clan remain, they would continue to fight (because really, that's what we're already doing).

This is the fairest and only way I can see this being resolved.

It's high-time that we settle our differences and prove who is right once and for all. I am just extending an olive branch to both sides so we can move on. By the way, the special guest referee will be either Phil Brown or Tony Pulis.

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