Hello all zee people zhat ees of most sex and beautiful! I came back to Earth the day that ees yesterday after spending time at condo on my diamond planet. You may have done zee watching on TV of my landing:
Being Zee Fantastic and lover of all ladies, I make decide zhat only way to arrive back home was ride zee space rock like zhose miniature horse ridermans. With sidekick Sergei zee Space Outer Chimp on lap to go with, seat on my ship rocket go eject boom noise explode just as space pebble pass by, and I latch chins on crevice of rock. I tried to do zee steer of it to make go land on target of intend, but it prove harder nut to crack. Unfortunate news to deliver is zhat when we land in lake of ice, Sergei zee Space Outer Chimp die because he crack his tiny chimp face on ice. He ignore my advice zhat was good to wear helmet before ejector seat propel onto space garbage rock, but no one doubt he had brains of smarts. Key being had brains because ice make him go no brains very fast and speedy. May he rest with rest of Manganis, forever swing on vine.
As I crawl out of lake bottom with meteor junk in right hand, I was greet by locals with furious claps of hands and parades. I was so delight to be on world of top. But zhen! Taken aside was I, and told of bad loss by Arsenal in zee cup of letters competition. How angry I got! I tell zee ling of under to repeat noise he make with mouth, and he tell me again of loss. I start to eat all zee buffet food local old ladies make for after-parade fornicate dance, I save food for no one because when I get mad I sweat out shirt and get munchies. All because Asshole Stan spend no money on best player. No player want come to Arsenal because none get offers. One day, I take Stan to condo on planet diamond. Only I push him out in space for good. Because he smell funny, have clubbed feet and he make you get eye waters you so sad about club.
I have nothing else to say with lips and mouth. Oh, space meteor rock thing have sale on Fantastic website for money and will accept lady in mail as make payment too. Buy now, yes?