The Short Fuse Glossary Revamp

So, the glossary has needed some updating for a while now. I just went ahead and added everything that I could remember or find with 90+ seconds of research. I basically kept the original and just added a few things that have come up since.

The Short Fuse Glossary


Ashburton Grove, The Grove - The full name for the Arsenal Stadium in absence of any naming rights.

Famous Back Four - Lee Dixon (RB), Tony Adams and Steve Bould (CBs), Nigel Winterburn (LB). An impenetrable, offside-trap-working miracle of a back four; basically Arsenal's defense from 1988 until 2000, unbroken.

Gunner - The nickname for players of the club; "Gooner" is often used for supporters.

Highbury - The Arsenal Stadium from 1913 to 2006. Marble and Art Deco.

Invincibles - The Arsenal team that won the 2003-04 Premier League without losing a single match. Went 49 straight league matches in a row without losing overall.

Woolwich - The southeast London borough where the Royal Woolwich Arsenal formed their football team and joined the football league in 1886.

Arsenal Players alternate names

Bac, Le Sagna - Bacary Sagna.

Coq, Le Coq - Francis Coquelin.

Dench - Emmanuel Frimpong; also his favorite word, which makes no sense.

The Greatest Striker That Ever Lived, TGSTEL - Nicklas Bendtner, who once broke the scale on a "psychological confidence exam", some might say without warrant.

Jack the Lad, Future Captain Jack- Jack Wilshere.

Kos, The Boss - Laurent Koscielny.

Mert, Mertestriker, BFG - Per Mertesacker.

Ox, OC - Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.

Tommy, The Little Mozart - Tomas Rosicky.

(Tommy) Ice Rink - Thomas Eisfeld.

Unlucky Theo, Invisible Theo - Theo Walcott; Unlucky Theo is a name from The Tuesday Club podcast.

Verminator, Verm, Vermaulen, TV5 - Thomas Vermaelen.

?, "Who?" - Mythical striker Park Chu Young.

Woj, Szcz - Wojciech Szczesny.

Welsh Lightning, Prince of Wales, Rambo - Aaron Ramsey.

Lego Hair - Mikel Arteta

Goldi Poldi - Lukas Podolski, nickname from this video.

OG, Oli, Jude, Djourou, Shawn Spencer - Olivier Giroud

Almunia 2.0 - Emiliano Viviano.

Jenks, Corporal Jenkinson - Carl Jenkinson.

Ryodinho - Ryo Miyaichi.

Montreal - Ignacio "Nacho" Monreal.

Lt. Serge - Serge Gnabry.

Injured - Abou Diaby.

Umlaut, Fish Eyes, Avatar Eyes - Mesut Özil.

Le Prof - Arsène Wenger.

Silent Stan, Silent 'Stache - Stan Kroenke.

Arsenal Legends

Thierry Henry - aka The King; scored 228 goals in eight and a little bit seasons; perhaps the greatest all-around striker the Premier League has known.

Dennis Bergkamp - aka God. Divinely skilled shadow striker who did things with footballs that basically would not be possible for others.

Robert Pires - aka Super Bob. French outside midfielder who, once he got going, was devastating on the left. Won PFA Player of the Year.

Tony Adams - aka "The Doctor of Defence" (--Arsene Wenger). 672 appearances at heart of defense in 20 years for one club. Captain. England center back for years and years.

Michael Thomas - scored the most memorable goal in recent Arsenal history, the league winner at Anfield in 1989 against Liverpool at the very death. Celebrated like a fish.

David Rocastle - superbly gifted outside midfielder. Died very young of cancer.

George Graham - center half and then manager of the team that won the 1989 and 1991 Leagues.

Liam Brady - Irish midfielder, heart of FA Cup-winning sides of the 1970s. Former Director of Youth Development for the club.

Charlie George - scored the winner against Liverpool in the 1971 FA Cup final to win the club's first double.

Pat Rice - Joined Arsenal as a youth in 1964; aside from a four-year stint with Watford in the 80s, he never spent a day at any other club from 1964 until 2012. That's 44 years of service to the Arsenal.

Ted Drake - Still holds the record for most goals in one league game with seven against Everton in 1935. Flew airplanes in WW2, or else he may have scored more than the 124 goals he did for Arsenal.

Cliff Bastin - Scored 150 goals for Arsenal, which was the record until Ian Wright broke it in 1997. Would have had more, though, if not for WW2.

Ian Wright - Poacher extraordinaire.

Herbert Chapman - Left Huddersfield to become manager of Arsenal in 1925; made the club a Big Club, and then a Top Club. Innovator.

Arsène Wenger memes

Did not see it - Wenger sometimes claims not to have seen controversial incidents during matches.

Top Top Quality - Wenger is insistent on signing only the best for a team in the Top Club Club.

Like a new signing - Whenever journalists ask Wenger about planned additions to the club, he will usually refer to long-injured players and remark that upon their return to health, they will function "like a new signing". Sometimes abbreviated as LANS.

Watch out water bottle - Wenger kicked a water bottle rather impressively during a poor match against Manchester United.

"Maybe we will have a surprise for you" - What Arsène Wenger said shortly before signing Mesut Özil to the team on deadline day of the summer transfer window in 2013.

General things you will see on the blog

Boris Becker ITK - One time, German tennis legend Boris Becker tweeted that Robin van Persie had changed his mind and signed a new deal with Arsenal. How he knew this, nobody knew, but nobody cared. Boris Becker, #1 source for all Arsenal transfer news.

CLUB IN CRISIS - If an Arsenal player so much as drops a chip on the floor, the tabloid press headlines will vociferously ask "IS ARSENAL IN CRISIS?!!!1!!!11!!!" Thus, whenever things are going right or mildly wrong for the club, TSF readers usually will chime in with the above.

/danago'd - Refers to one-time community member danago, who often made claims to player and team knowledge he couldn't possibly have had and made claims to tactical knowledge researched and proven in video games. Referred to others as "kid". Thus, if a member comments about something they feel will work because it has in virtual space or in the past, the usual reply, in good humor, is the above.

Golden Corral - During the 2011-12 Great Fullback Crisis (see below), Arsenal made plans to replace the right back position with a Golden Corral restaurant franchise.

The Great Fullback Crisis - During 2011-12, Arsenal were forced by injury to play no fewer than ten different players at fullback throughout the course of the year.

The Statement - Following the 2012 -13 season, team captain and leading goal scorer, Robin van Persie, published a personal statement criticizing the club in order to secure a move to Manchester United where he could both win titles and make more money.

pelanty - Simply refers to a penalty kick. Refers to Christopher Roland Waddle, ex-Tottenham Hotspur, who during match commentary yelled out the word "PELANTY" when a penalty was awarded.

Piers Morgan - Arsenal "supporter" and CNN "anchor", "Journalist", hack. Don't listen to a damn thing he says. He is evil and wrong.

/shawcross'd - Refers to any horrendously late and horrific challenge, after Ryan Shawcross of Stoke snapped Aaron Ramsey's lower leg completely in half in a League match in 2010.

St. Totteringham's Day - Refers to the day during the season when it becomes mathematically impossible for Tottenham to finish higher than Arsenal in the league.

Top Club Club - Related to CLUB IN CRISIS; refers to the debated, but not really debatable, status of Arsenal as a "top club" (or somtimes "big club"); the Top Club Club is a club for only the coolest of Top Clubs.

6 Weeks - reference to how complications seemingly always occur to injured Arsenal players, thus turning 6 weeks into 6 months. See Diaby.

90 Seconds of Research - Or just 90 Seconds. Used to mock someone for making an incorrect statement where misinformation could be easily avoided by a quick look on the internet.

Umlauts - Umlauts are used in the German language on vowels. Özil has one in his name. You can type one using Alt + 148 or you could use copy/paste.

Överhappy - From a translation mistake made by Mesut Özil on twitter.

"I’d like to say it’s a shame but it’s not really" - Theo Walcott on Spurs finishing in fifth in 2013.

"Aha!" - Lukas Podolski, general team clown, has his own personal noise.

#poldi - Lukas Podolski, has developed a habit of over hashtagging his twitter posts

Negative Spiral - Part of a statement made by Andre Villas Boas, manager of Tottenham, after Spurs had defeated Arsenal in the spring of 2013. Arsenal immediately went into an incredible streak. Said streak included a victory over Bayern Munich in Germany (Bayern would advance on away goals and win the Champion's League), 11 consecutive games undefeated to conclude the season and knock Spurs into fifth, and then start the 13-14 season as the best team in England. At the time of writing, Arsenal has won 19 matches, lost one, and drawn 2 in all competitions since the comment was made.

Celebrity Death Watch - There is an odd coincidence where, every time Aaron Ramsey scores a goal, a very important political figure or celebrity usually dies. This would include Whitney Houston, Muammar Gaddafi, Steve Jobs, and Osama Bin Laden, among others. This is alternatively known as The Curse of Ramsey.

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