A Day in the Life of Alan Pardew

7:30 AM

800px-czech_barista_petra_vesel_c3_a1_2c_mistr_k_c3_a1vy__c4_8cr_2005_2c_2007_preparing_coffee_medium Here's your mocha, Alan, just as you like it every morning!


149366222_extra_large_medium Thank you, Hermoine. It's always great to come back to the same coffeehouse and know you'll give me the same great cup of mocha every day of the week. However, I notice today you decided to include Splenda packets. Care to explain why you think I would need it?

800px-czech_barista_petra_vesel_c3_a1_2c_mistr_k_c3_a1vy__c4_8cr_2005_2c_2007_preparing_coffee_medium_medium Oh, I'm sorry! I certainly can. I read the results of this survey once, and it said --


8:00 AM

749px-boston_police_-_special_operations_officer_medium The reason I pulled you over was that you were going 65 in a school zone. See?


149366222_extra_large_medium Wow, was I moving right along! I normally don't go this fast, but if you dip your head in to see my dashboard, you'll notice that my speedometer is broken.

749px-boston_police_-_special_operations_officer_medium_medium Of course, let me take a peek. (Leaning in) Oh, I see where one would think the needle is bent, perhaps I can --


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10:35 AM

Hi, Boss!


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3:00 PM

Gyi0063424937_medium_medium Aye! Alan, pleasure to see you, as always. Looks like the squad had a productive training session today. Say, I have an idea I wanted to run by you. I'm trying like mad to generate more income for you to buy players before the window closes, and I'm running out of options since the locals seemed to not like my idea of selling the rights to St. James Park...

149366222_extra_large_medium_medium Go on...

Gyi0063424937_medium_medium_medium ...And the only logical idea that came to mind was, well, selling the naming rights to your name.

149366222_extra_large_medium_medium ....

Gyi0063424937_medium_medium_medium_medium I can see it now: "Alan Pardew, Brought to You by Lucozade" on all press releases, press conferences and any other official club communication. Thoughts?

149366222_extra_large_medium_medium_medium ....

Gyi0063424937_medium_medium_medium_medium_medium Well...? :-)


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7:00 PM

149366222_extra_large_medium_medium_medium_medium Honey! I'm --


800px-angry_woman_medium Oh, did I do that? I'm sorry, maybe the next time you'll remember to take the garbage out like I asked you to do this morning. Now, you were saying?

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