In the age of the Internet, news can come from strange sources. For example, I found out that Osama bin Laden had been killed on Twitter, directly from a former aide to ex-Vice President Dick Cheney. That was weird, and kind of cool.
So when Boris Becker, retired tennis legend, reported today that Robin van Persie had signed a new deal with Arsenal, I obviously believed him immediately. Because it's just so obvious that after all of this insanity, a German tennis player would be the first person to announce the Arsenal captain's new deal. So welcome back, Robin. Sorry about burning you in effigy.
Of course, I'm only kidding. About believing Becker, that is. He definitely tweeted about a van Persie contract.
Just heard Van Persie signed 2year deal with ....Arsenal!?— Boris Becker (@Becker_Boris) July 18, 2012
See? He's even verified and everything.
The great thing about this is that it's not entirely insane. It's conceivable that he could have some kind of inside information, or something. After all, though Rob Lowe was wrong in that Peyton Manning didn't retire, he was right in that he'd played his last game for the Colts. So maybe he had some idea of what he was talking about, due to his friendship with Colts owner Jim Irsay.
But the chances of that being the case here are slim. Unless there's a connection here that everyone's missing, there's no rational reason for Boris Becker to know anything about this. He's probably wrong. It would be great if he was right (mostly for my personal amusement), but that outcome is unlikely. So stand down, everyone. For the moment, at least: I hear Andy Murray has some news on Jack Wilshere's ankle any moment now.